When I moved to Door County, back in 2007, I had to leave a whole life behind. All that I treasured wasn’t going to fit in my two allowed international luggage. I had no choice but to only keep what truly mattered. I chose my favorite clothing items, and pictures. I packed my bags, and bye bye. No, it wasn’t easy, but the move taught me something very important: what truly matters is not physical, and I survived leaving a whole life of material goods behind.
Once we are able to truly look within, we will know that what matters the most can never be apart from us. Our memories, our connections, our love. But… let’s be honest here. Once I dig the ground, and started growing roots in my new home, I started accumulating things once again. I have a favorite desk, a ton of cherished baskets, and the list goes on. My intention with this post is to remind everyone that it is possible to let go of things we believe that we need, or have strong attachment to. Sometimes in life we need to make a move, and it is not possible to take everything with us.
When clients are downsizing to a smaller home, one of the hardest chores they face is letting go of sentimental belongings they no longer have room for. Souvenirs collected during travels, family heirlooms, and children’s keepsakes can be quite stressful to part with. It doesn’t matter whether the items have monetary value or not; in fact, often the most difficult items to let go of are worthless in terms of money, but priceless in sentimental value.
So, here are some tips to help you part with belongings you are attached to but no longer want to keep.
- Remember that our memories reside within us, not within our possessions. Psychologists say that letting go of sentimental items can be extremely therapeutic. When we keep things, the items occupy both physical and mental space in our lives. It’s healthier to focus on your memories and not the items that represent your memories.
- Focus on the present. Letting go also helps to bring your focus to the present. Sometimes things are continual reminders of the past and hold us back from living in the present. Dwelling in the past can make one more prone to depression and can affect our ability to deal with stressful situations in our lives. Realize that while we can always cherish our memories, we don’t need the past to be happy in the present.
- Let go of guilt. People often hold onto an item they don’t want or need because someone special gave it to them or it represents a special person. Learn to let go of the guilt associated with getting rid of gifts you can’t use. Appreciate the thoughtfulness of the giver or the special memory it represents but pass the item on to someone else who can use it or donate it to charity.
- Don’t save it for your grown children. Times have changed and today more young adults are able to buy their own furnishings. And they aren’t as sentimental about family heirlooms as prior generations were. Talk to your kids now and find out if you are holding onto your china, crystal, and silver tea service for nothing.
- Compromise with your spouse. It’s not uncommon for one spouse to resent the others’ favorite belongings while holding onto their own special stuff. It’s important to recognize that, while you may not understand your husband’s need to keep a ball cap for every team he’s seen play, he may feel the same way about his hats that you do about keeping every book you have read. Decide together on a reasonable number to keep.
- Start with the easy stuff. If you have a lot of belongings to sort through, start with the easier decisions and work from there. Often people find that once they get some momentum going it feels good to let go.
- Write a family memoir. Hold onto your memories with words instead of things by writing your memoir or the story of your family. Writing your story can be very therapeutic and can help you release your hold on tangible items. If you need help, try a service like Storyworth.com.
I hope this was helpful, and that you always remember that what truly matters is always, always with you.